FUCK YEAH OSCAR PISTORIUS

Update 2-28

Thu, 28 Feb 2013 22:57:00 -0500

This was my exact reaction after reading Oscar’s affidavit on Feb. 19. Until his official version of the incident came out, I was holding back on forming an opinion, as I said. But when I realized I could potentially believe his version, my paradigm shifted. I had been so focused on Reeva – and rightfully so – that I hadn’t even been able to attempt to empathize with Oscar. I experienced some very strange emotions that day; the whole situation is so tragic it’s like a mindfuck to even try to comprehend. Still, based on the established facts regarding that night, I can believe that Oscar made a horrendously stupid and ultimately fatal mistake in a moment of panic. I am less inclined to believe he decided to murder someone he cared for and simultaneously destroy his career over an argument. As improbable as Oscar’s statement is, I find the accusation of premeditated murder more far-fetched. As Mary Carillo said, I feel heartsick over the entire case.

I know lots of people disagree with me, and I’m going to address that in this post. Please hit the jump and read the whole thing before responding to it in any way. Anyone addressing this post without reading it will be wasting time. (TL;DR? Fine, just move on.)

I realize that my opinion carries little if any significance in the media shitstorm following this case. As a side note about that, I’ve found The Guardian to be the best resource for comprehensive and balanced coverage. All the articles about the case/hearing are categorized as they should be - under “Reeva Steenkamp shooting.”

Listen, I’m a feminist – a proud, unapologetic one. I understand the feminist response to a(nother) story about a man killing his girlfriend, because I experienced a version of that response myself. As soon as the news broke on the morning of Feb. 14, I was exponentially more horrified that a woman was dead at the hands of someone she presumably loved and trusted than at the fact that someone I had deeply admired was charged with that same killing. I texted a good friend I met through this blog and said, “Oh my god, did you hear about Reeva? I’m in shock.” I was more than skeptical of the rumored “intruder” excuse, and I advocated for the victim. The only thing I tweeted that day was #JusticeForReeva, and you’ll remember that I used the same hashtag in my post here. I still stand by that hashtag and my subsequent statement that Reeva’s death is the tragedy in all this. In fact, I feel certain that Oscar would agree with that.

I respect everyone who is advocating for Reeva. I am also advocating for Reeva. I understand the importance of advocating for the victim and her loved ones. But I don’t believe that advocating for her means that I must condemn him, just as I don’t believe that advocating for him means I care less about her death. I can’t accept that being a feminist means never advocating for a man. I’m relieved that he was granted bail, giving him this time with his family before the trial.

Let me be clear that I’m not saying Oscar is “innocent.” As we all know, the question is not “did he kill her,” but “did he INTEND to kill her.” And for now, I believe the answer is no. I don’t know, but I believe. The possibility of the charge dropping to “culpable homicide” has come up a few times. Culpable homicide describes a killing where the individual should have logically foreseen that his/her actions would lead to the other person’s death even though he/she didn’t intend or want to kill that person. Based on that definition, I don’t think anyone could argue that Oscar isn’t guilty of culpable homicide.

I have been repeatedly alarmed and confused, if hardly surprised, by the way it seems so easy for so many people to label him a murderer when prosecution’s case was anything but convincing. (It’s worth noting that plenty of others have supported Oscar from the first day, regardless of the fact that they’ve never met him, and I don’t fully understand that either.) The since-removed police detective Hilton Botha even admitted during cross-examination that he had no evidence to refute Oscar’s statement. Some people latch onto Oscar’s purported propensity for violent/aggressive behavior even though the prosecution failed to provide anything more than anecdotal evidence for that claim. Lots of people even believed the completely bogus “steroids” and “head bashing” claims without so much as two more seconds of reading (say it with me: headlines are not the news). Again and again, it seems like lots of people want him to be guilty.

It made me wonder: why is it so easy for so many people to believe the worst about someone? Why is it so easy to hate? Based on my own roller-coaster experience of this case, I have a theory about why some people are so eager to believe that this was a murder: outrage is easier than heartache. Here’s an analogy: Imagine hearing a story on the news about a man who purposefully set his dog on fire, resulting in the dog burning to death. Feel that emotion. Now imagine that you hear about a man killing his dog, but because he forgot to lock the gate and didn’t know the dog had come out of the backyard and was standing behind his truck when he pulled out of the driveway, and then he held it and cried as it breathed its last breath. Now feel THAT emotion. The first one would make me furious and horrified. The second one made me cry while I was writing it.

From the time the news broke, I was considering the possibility that the Oscar we thought we loved and supported was just a facade for the cameras and reporters, with a much more sinister and dangerous person underneath. That was extremely unsettling, but if his account of what happened is the truth, that is exponentially more gut-wrenching. If Oscar isn’t the villain in this story, it means that the same guy we cheered for last summer mistakenly pointed a gun at a woman he loved and killed her. It’s such a stupid, tragic mistake that I would likely dismiss as unrealistic if I saw it on TV or read it in a book. But real life IS stupid and tragic.

Update 2-17

Sun, 17 Feb 2013 17:31:00 -0500

It still feels hard to grasp that “Oscar shot Reeva” is a factual statement, doesn’t it? Thank you again to those of you who sent me messages - one of the best parts of this blog has always been the wonderful people it has enabled me to meet. I know that lots of Oscar’s fans are mourning what is in all likelihood the end of his unprecedented career; however, I think it is important for us - while we’re all entitled to our emotions - to acknowledge that the real tragedy is Reeva Steenkamp’s death.

“The violent death of Steenkamp, who is the real victim of the shooting near Pretoria, matters far more than Pistorius’ dramatic fall and sobbing appearance in court.”

- Donald McRae in The Gauridan

I respect that many people are coming to Oscar’s defense, but like I said before, I am not condemning nor defending him. I wish I could say “I know he would never do such a thing,” but I can’t say that because I don’t know. I never met him or saw what he was like away from the cameras. And when I consider the intense grief and remorse Oscar must be feeling, my mind immediately goes back to Reeva’s family.

“Tragedy of the ‘Blade Runner’ Pistorius shooting is not that an Olympic Gold medal winner stumbled - it is that an innocent woman was killed.”

- Jonathan Moremi on Twitter

Clearly, the sadness any of us may feel can’t possibly match a fragment of the sorrow Reeva’s family and friends are facing. (I can’t begin to grasp the nightmare the Pistorius family is living, either.) Any present mourning I do is for Reeva’s death.

“Our thoughts and prayers today should be for Reeva and her family, regardless of the circumstances of this terrible, terrible tragedy.”

- Exceprt from Oscar’s family’s statement

I don’t regret the time I spent on this blog in the past six months. It was fun, it was celebratory, and I was proud of it. I have never enjoyed sports as much as I did when I watched Oscar run. But I haven’t actually lost something - not the way Reeva’s family has. For now, I am grieving for her family, demanding justice, and closely following developments in this case.

Update 2-14

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 15:27:00 -0500

FYOP was shocked and saddened to learn of the tragic death of Reeva Steenkamp this morning. My heart goes out to all her friends and family.

Like all Oscar’s fans, it seems unfathomable to me that he could have done something so horrifying. I hope to see truth and justice prevail in this case, Friday’s ~~trial~~ bail hearing, and the eventual trial.

This is not a defensive post, nor is it an anti-Oscar post. I will not speculate. This is a pro-justice, pro-Reeva, pro-due process post.

#JusticeForReeva

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Tue, 12 Feb 2013 23:37:54 -0500

“Haha always laugh when I see my mug..:)” - Oscar

Sun, 10 Feb 2013 01:58:10 -0500

“Haha always laugh when I see my mug..:)”

- Oscar

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Sat, 02 Feb 2013 01:18:00 -0500

cule-pistorius: Such a cute laugh :-)

Sat, 02 Feb 2013 00:51:11 -0500

cule-pistorius:

Such a cute laugh :-)

COULD HE EVEN GET ANY MORE ADORABLE THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS...

Wed, 30 Jan 2013 05:00:06 -0500

COULD HE EVEN GET ANY MORE ADORABLE

THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS COME ON