This was my exact reaction after reading Oscar’s affidavit on Feb. 19. Until his official version of the incident came out, I was holding back on forming an opinion, as I said. But when I realized I could potentially believe his version, my paradigm shifted. I had been so focused on Reeva – and rightfully so – that I hadn’t even been able to attempt to empathize with Oscar. I experienced some very strange emotions that day; the whole situation is so tragic it’s like a mindfuck to even try to comprehend. Still, based on the established facts regarding that night, I can believe that Oscar made a horrendously stupid and ultimately fatal mistake in a moment of panic. I am less inclined to believe he decided to murder someone he cared for and simultaneously destroy his career over an argument. As improbable as Oscar’s statement is, I find the accusation of premeditated murder more far-fetched. As Mary Carillo said, I feel heartsick over the entire case.
I know lots of people disagree with me, and I’m going to address that in this post. Please hit the jump and read the whole thing before responding to it in any way. Anyone addressing this post without reading it will be wasting time. (TL;DR? Fine, just move on.)
It still feels hard to grasp that “Oscar shot Reeva” is a factual statement, doesn’t it? Thank you again to those of you who sent me messages - one of the best parts of this blog has always been the wonderful people it has enabled me to meet. I know that lots of Oscar’s fans are mourning what is in all likelihood the end of his unprecedented career; however, I think it is important for us - while we’re all entitled to our emotions - to acknowledge that the real tragedy is Reeva Steenkamp’s death.
“The violent death of Steenkamp, who is the real victim of the shooting near Pretoria, matters far more than Pistorius’ dramatic fall and sobbing appearance in court.”
I respect that many people are coming to Oscar’s defense, but like I said before, I am not condemning nor defending him. I wish I could say “I know he would never do such a thing,” but I can’t say that because I don’t know. I never met him or saw what he was like away from the cameras. And when I consider the intense grief and remorse Oscar must be feeling, my mind immediately goes back to Reeva’s family.
“Tragedy of the ‘Blade Runner’ Pistorius shooting is not that an Olympic Gold medal winner stumbled - it is that an innocent woman was killed.”
Clearly, the sadness any of us may feel can’t possibly match a fragment of the sorrow Reeva’s family and friends are facing. (I can’t begin to grasp the nightmare the Pistorius family is living, either.) Any present mourning I do is for Reeva’s death.
“Our thoughts and prayers today should be for Reeva and her family, regardless of the circumstances of this terrible, terrible tragedy.”
I don’t regret the time I spent on this blog in the past six months. It was fun, it was celebratory, and I was proud of it. I have never enjoyed sports as much as I did when I watched Oscar run. But I haven’t actually lost something - not the way Reeva’s family has. For now, I am grieving for her family, demanding justice, and closely following developments in this case.
FYOP was shocked and saddened to learn of the tragic death of Reeva Steenkamp this morning. My heart goes out to all her friends and family.
Like all Oscar’s fans, it seems unfathomable to me that he could have done something so horrifying. I hope to see truth and justice prevail in this case, Friday’s
trial bail hearing, and the eventual trial.
This is not a defensive post, nor is it an anti-Oscar post. I will not speculate. This is a pro-justice, pro-Reeva, pro-due process post.